OPEN POST

[beautymarker]

PSLs, meme thread continuations, random texts, whatever!

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[crowdad1]

It's funny, how happy I've been to see him. There's so much happening. Then Nekoma show up with their noise and their attitude and it feels normal.

[Nationals is a shock. That many teams together, then half disappearing in a day. There's also the pressure from Tokyo itself. The noise, the people, all of the buildings. Even the sky is different. Almost orange from the light pollution. No stars twinkle here.

But Daichi is a Crow.

He's adapting.]

We'll see how it feels tomorrow.

[beautymarker]

[Funny how a change of perspective can suddenly make things so clear. Before he confessed to Daichi, Suga really didn't know what it was about Kuroo that he found unappealing despite all the points in his favour - now, when Daichi says how happy I've been to see him, the answer couldn't be more obvious.

As oblivious as Daichi must undoubtedly be to their dynamic, Suga's never been able to ignore the sexual tension that leaps off the two of them in massive electrical arcs every time they meet. He just couldn't admit how he felt about it until now.

Huh. Another big relief.]

We'll see. [He nods his agreement.] It'll be good experience for Hinata and Tsukishima, since - well, Hinata's made friends on almost every team we've played, but I doubt Tsukki's had to face down many people he considers a friend in such a critical game. The feeling can take some getting used to.

[And that's officially the first time Suga's let a Tsukki slip in front of one of their teammates. Yes, even Daichi.]

[crowdad1]

[Daichi doesn't notice, and Kuroo doesn't push. So clearly it's just Rivals Being Rivals!]

Mm.

[At the team meeting, Tsukishima seemed committed as ever. Expression stone as he reviewed Kuroo's blocks. Even stronger since their summer face-offs. This is truly going to be a Defense battle, more than maybe any other game.

And now that the subject's been brought up - ]

'Tsukki,' huh?

So - You two are getting close!

[beautymarker]

[Suga blinks, his chaotic mind taking a moment to catch up to what he's said...]

Oh - ! [A sheepish little laugh.] Yeah, I guess we are! He's been a really great friend this past while.

[How to say this without outing Tsukishima as well...? Not that Daichi's the sort of person to gossip, really the exact opposite, but that's still not Sugawara's information to share. He'll have to say it without saying it and trust his best friend's perceptiveness and discretion, huh.]

Sometimes it just takes one thing you didn't know you had in common to bond with somebody unexpected.

[crowdad1]

[The one thing...

Daichi's been so bad at reading people. Still, he has an inkling. Maybe more. Suga spent over an hour spamming dinosaurs and Magical Girl gifs on the trip. Getting snorts from the other end of the bus.]

Then I'm glad he's talking to you.

[beautymarker]

[Oops. Of all the possible things Daichi could take from his words, Suga would never expect him to take away too much. (Because he hasn't. But shh, don't tell Suga or Tsukishima that yet, they're not ready.) So he just keeps chattering away, with no idea how it all sounds to his friend.]

He's a totally different person when you spend time with him one on one! I mean - you didn't hear it from me, but he's mostly just a big nerd. Even kind of shy sometimes. [Suga stop.] He even managed to make a good impression on my brother, Kenzo's always asking me when the new giant's coming to visit again.

[It should be noted that Daichi didn't make a bad impression on Kenzo - he just has a big, booming voice and commanding presence that makes the kid shrink away no matter what he's saying. Tsukishima's more contained energy and soft voice was a much better fit.]

[crowdad1]

[Keep digging that hole, Suga...]

Is that so?

[Kenzo, talking. Daichi doesn't think he's heard the kid say three words together. He chuckles. Amazed at how things work out, sometimes.]

So under that trash personality is an actual person!

[beautymarker]

Not just an actual person... we're a lot alike. You should be glad that person doesn't show his face with the team too often, we could've made your life a living hell!

[The humour slips from Suga's face and his tone turns pensive.]

I wish I knew what made him so - the person we do see most of the time. Defensive, guarded, all that. But there's no rushing that kind of thing.

[Yeah, Sugawara's in absurdly deep. It's only through conscious denial that he's able to blind himself to that fact.]

[crowdad1]

You jerks already do that!

[Daichi huffs. Rolling his eyes in full Put-Upon Captain mode. Then he sobers, matching Suga's energy.]

Huh. That is interesting, comparing the Tsukishima you're telling me about to the one we know.

[beautymarker]

Yeah... but hopefully just having one more person on the other side of all those defenses will help wear them down.

[It's also worth noting that Suga doesn't seem to have gotten much closer to Yamaguchi, despite him being such a velcro friend. Sure, Yamaguchi's also been spending more time with some combination of Hinata and Kageyama lately, but it does say something that he's still mostly a teammate, kouhai, and now friend of a friend to Suga.

He falls into companionable silence as they turn onto a quieter cross street, his gaze distant and a slight smile on his face. Oh, if he could see himself right now.]

[crowdad1]

Suga...

I know there's so much going on.

But I hope - If you liked somebody - You know I'd want to hear about - Him.

[Smooth. But Daichi's not going to let this reassurance pass by. It was so lonely, not talking. Knowing such a big thing had been kept quiet.

He never wants Suga to carry that alone. Ever.]

[beautymarker]

[Gradually, each step growing slower in tiny increments, Sugawara comes to a complete stop.

There are two wolves - crows? - inside him. One is screaming to him that he needs to confront the truth already. The other just burrows deeper into denial and insists that the first crow and Daichi are completely insane, they're just friends, finding Tsukishima attractive now doesn't mean that Suga HAS to have a crush on him!! That would be stupid.

That would be so stupid.]

... what?

[Does Suga look surprised? Yes. Does he look innocently surprised, like the idea really has come out of left field? Maybe close enough, but also maybe not.]

[crowdad1]

[Suga slows. Stops. He looks surprised, but not shocked.

Daichi holds up his hands in a peace gesture. He's not going to push. Name things that aren't there, or might still be growing. He only wants to keep the door open. Let Suga decide when to use it.]

Look. I know I'm not observant about these things.

But if you found a guy who's on your level? I want to support you. Both of you. That's it.

[beautymarker]

No no, Daichi, that's - that's not -

[What's the point of this, really? Why keep denying it so long and loud if Daichi sees no problem with the idea?]

- it's not -

[It's not what should have happened. It's not what Suga wanted. It's not a good idea! It's probably not even possible, at least in a requited way. Again.

But it's true, isn't it?]

- ohhhhh no.

[crowdad1]

[Oh boy. Daichi recognizes that response. He winces as a metric ton of bricks crashes down on Sugawara's reality.

Once the protests splutter out - ]

Suga?

[beautymarker]

I thought... [Suga's gaze dances around wildly as he talks through the epiphany, upending thoughts like chunks of rubble and scanning for any truth that might shake loose.] ... it's not like I didn't notice anything, but I just figured, you know, I was working through stuff! And he was there! It's just, like, transferring all those feelings somewhere else! That's why rebounds happen, right, that's why people take time after breakups, you can't really know -

[But the way Daichi described the situation really drove something home for Suga, and when he picks up that simple truth and looks at it from every angle, there's nothing else left to do but look Daichi in the eye and admit to himself:]

- but it's him. Specifically. I - I like. [Goddamnit.] I like Tsukishima.

*Tsukki sneezes back in the hotel*

[crowdad1]

Okay!

[Those terms sting. 'Breakup.' 'Rebound.' Daichi's not just close to Suga's heartbreak. He's the epicenter. Not on purpose, but there's still a responsibility.

He peers closely at his best friend. Gauging how to build from here.]

And he's... a possible option?

[beautymarker]

[Is he a possible option? That means so much more than just liking guys as well, though Suga's sure that's what Daichi means.]

... is he? I'm about to graduate and he's still got two more years of high school ahead of him. That's not a lot of time together before it has to turn long distance, and then I'm a university student dating a high schooler - is that going to look weird? Is it weird? And I don't even know what he thinks of me, like, you know how there are those senpais that are more like uncles than big brothers because they just feel so much older that it makes them uncool? What if -

[This is one of the big reasons why Sugawara focuses on the well-being of others and lets it buoy him along. When he looks too hard at himself and his own desires, all the confidence just drains out of him and he starts to sound more like Asahi than himself.]

[crowdad1]

Whoah, whoah! Slow down!

[Daichi's hands land on Sugawara's shoulders. Shake him a fraction.]

You just admitted you like him! Let's - Just talk about that?

First of all, it's not weird! Yeah, two years could be a lot, if we were talking about Kageyama or Hinata, but Tsukishima's not the same.

[beautymarker]

… okay, yeah, you’re not wrong. [Suga laughs and squares his shoulders, like he’s physically shaking off the weight of all that worry.] One step at a time.

[The strength of Daichi’s insistence that there’s nothing untoward about Suga’s attraction plays a huge part in helping him relax. Two years really isn’t that much, is it? Would he criticize Daichi if he said he wanted to date Yachi? Not at all. So why…?]

You have to see how he’d be uniquely… intimidating to think about confessing to, though.

[crowdad1]

Sure.

I mean, I can't say it from the same place. I'm not the one attracted to him! But the kind of person Tsukishima is... It would take a certain kind of nerve.

[Daichi smiles, reassuring.]

I happen to know you have that nerve.

[From personal experience. Though Daichi's not going deeper than that. Suga's last confession is still too raw for them both. So he's sure to add - ]

You don't have to decide now.

[beautymarker]

[God bless Daichi for always being so gentle with his emotions. No matter how resilient and carefree Suga works to appear, Daichi never just assumes that "Suga can take it" when the opposite is true. Somehow he respects Suga's softness and his strength in equal measure.

He'd be a wonderful partner, in another life. In this one, he's a priceless friend.]

No decisions of any kind until we get back to Miyagi, for starters! [He agrees with a chuckle.] Honestly, though, I'm... still kind of surprised that I'm so attracted to Tsukki. I usually have a pretty definite type and there's not much about him that fits into it.

[crowdad1]

[Suga's an incredible person, but not indestructible. He deserves friends - and a romantic partner - Who understand. Daichi's sure he'll pick someone worthy of that job.]

Good call.

So you have a type, huh? Is it too arrogant to ask about that?

[For all they know about each other, this is unexplored. Suga's (understandably) always dodged the topic. Daichi's been too busy with the team and school to chase it.

He can't help the curiosity.]

[beautymarker]

[When Suga thinks about it, Tsukishima's shown the exact same ability to tell bravado from actual cheer and react accordingly. He's not as forward about offering support, but his silent presence somehow turns out to be comfort enough.

God, Suga's been so blind.]

Hang on... [He pulls out his phone and scrolls back in one of his text chats to where Tsukishima himself summed it up perfectly.] ... apparently it's dark-haired, athletically inclined leaders. So yeah, you were a shoo-in.

[Here and now, at least, a bit of joking appears to be okay.]

[crowdad1]

[Daichi's bark of laughter echoes from the closed-in buildings.]

Geeze. I think I should be flattered? Wait, leaders?

[Emphasizing the plural.]